Things I’d like to do:

Ski

Live in Europe for a few years

Edit a literary journal

Record music

Do things with Richard

Go to grad school for English, go to England, get on the lecture circuit

Have a highpowered job, like law, consulting, government

Be part of what’s happening in the third world

Sometimes I wish I had more structure.  More clear challenges and opportunities to prove myself.  I want to be around people more.  I want to be independent of my parents in every way.

The immediate question is whether to structure my classes with the idea that I’ll stay here another year.  If I stayed another year, I could do Distinguished Majors, maybe even poetry, and apply to grad school.  I’d look for an internship this summer.  Like Aspen Ideas, Norton, or whatever.

If I graduate this spring.  I should still probably look for an internship that will keep me busy until I find a job.

Okay, so the thought of being a ski bum has captured my attention.  Work for Ideas, supplement that with tourism work in the winter.  Run lit mags out of bonny Aspen.  Party, date, ski.   Who knows what people are like in Aspen, of course.  They might be dumb.  But I doubt it.  Too much money & fun.  I could do that for a little while, then try to move over to the European resorts.

Okay, so I’ve just looked at the Ideas website, googled interns for the Festival, and I don’t see anything.  I don’t know what I’d do really.  Particularly since I’m so disorganized and awkward.  Also, I could apply for Explore Bookstore, but there’s no “we’re hiring” thingy on their site.  Of course, there are lots of other, like, bakeries and stuff in town, but goddamnit if I’m gonna work in a bakery like JJ or a grocery store like poor Joe.

While I was fact-finding, I swung by damnit.com, just to you know check things out.  Oh my gawd.  They’re awful, I’m awful, we’re awful.  These people have like the same complaints I do.  Lonely, non-conformist, capriciously heartsick, druuunk.  The only nice person on there was, of course, an Eastern European.  Those people are so funny and nice.

Maybe I should go to Eastern Europe.  I will call Sonya tomorrow.  If New Orleans is not a go, it’s off to the Balkans with me.

An hour and a half before cross-trainer time.  D:  I should read Medieval crap.